Habits

I’m trying to get back into the habit of writing every day.

I used to do this with no problem. I could just write about one of the million things floating through my brain. Just a constant mental dialogue going on and writing was tying a string around one of those conversations. I really, really enjoyed it.

And then it was time to write my dissertation.

Some people say that if you want to be happy find a way to get paid doing what you love. I think that is often wrong (at least for me). A friend of mine is an amazing guitarist — been playing since the 70s. He said getting paid to do something you love, makes it a job. Now you *have* to do it or you can’t pay your bills. That thing that once brought you joy is now your boss. That may not be true for everyone, but I can relate to that. I think I’d prefer to win $100million in the lottery and then just do what I love.

My feelings toward writing hadn’t really gotten that bad yet. But I felt this pressure to be writing all of the time and a literature review seemed like the last thing I wanted to write … but I had to. So I felt guilty if I was reading or writing something other than what I was supposed to be reading or writing. This mentality meant that I just stopped writing for fun or because I needed to do it.

So I’ve taken a break, and now I’m starting back up again.

But for now, I’m writing everyday just to get back into the habit of writing everyday. Even if it’s something silly like this.